Odds and Ends

Mom: Mia, tell me two things you did today at camp?

Mia: Swimming and sprinklers and (while pinching her nose) feeding the flowers some chicken poop.

(They apparently used compost to fertilize the garden today.)

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Sophie walked the length of the living room two times today. WooHoo! She thought it was hilarious. When she was done, she bent over in a downward dog pose, and laughed between her legs.

That's the 2nd time in two days I've been caught without a camera! (Zoe's swimming and Sophie's walking!) Urgh!

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Aunt Cindy, Zoe is LOVING the white nightgown. She wears it nearly every night. She also started with a back pack for the first time, and she really loves the one that you recommended. Thanks!

Diving Board in Sight

Zoe has been extremely eager to jump off the diving board. She is equally pulled between excitement and fear to do it. Tonight she asked the life guard what she needed to do before she could use the diving board. He told her she needed to pass a swim test. She nodded her head to let him know that she wanted to go ahead. The swim test consists of swimming the long length of the full size pool without touching the side or bottom. She did it. She couldn't believe that she was swimming in 12 feet of water, and she was really proud of herself. She got out to go to the diving board and they blew the whistle that it was time to get out of the pool. They take a 10 minute break every hour. After the break it began to drizzle, so we'll be back to try the diving board another day.

Way to go Zoe!

As an aside, when watching tennis earlier, Zoe saw a close up of Serena Williams with her fierce blue shiny nail polish. Zoe said, "I know she's going to win because of her nails." Uh no Zoe, let's have that talk again about hard work, effort, skill, etc. I can't watch tennis with my daughter and talk about their outfits and nails.

Sophie - Fifteen Months

At your fifteen month well visit, the doctor gave us a sheet with typical milestones. One listed under "normal development" suggests that you may "begin to help with household chores such as sweeping, emptying small garbage cans, etc." While you are simply amazing, you are not quite yet helping with household chores. (If anyone has a fifteen month old who is, please send them to my house.)

Now, let's talk about what you are doing. There's plenty!

You have another new tooth which brings the count up to six. And boy do you love to smile to show them off. You get others to smile too when you duck your head down and play hide and go seek or blow kisses. You also point to people and things (like noses) when prompted to do so, and you can fulfill basic requests like "look here, touch my nose, get cup," etc.

You have lots of sounds and semi-words, meaning words that we all understand but the average person may not. When you're talking about any of of your family members, dogs, cats, birds, etc., we know what you're saying. Zoe and Mia also completely understand you.

You are on the move and love to explore. Today daddy had to pull you out from under the baby gate where you were trying to get yourself down to the basement! Thankfully you know how to turn around and crawl down stairs backwards. But we are not ready for you to do that solo! You stand up and can take up to three steps. Walking is in your near future. Your crawl has completely evolved with your desire to walk, and you now swing both legs around when you crawl instead of using your knees.

You sleep! You fall asleep every night by sometime around 7:30PM. You wake up ready to start the day between 6AM and 6:30AM. If you wake up before 6AM, I just nurse you and you go back to sleep for another hour or so. Bliss. Thank you! Still two naps a day around 9AM and 1 or 2PM.

You're still riding your own curve on the height and weight charts. At 31 inches, you're in the 75%ile for height. Nineteen pounds puts you at the 3rd%ile for weight. You eat like a champ though. We nurse three times a day now, you also have breastmilk and whole milk in a cup during the day, and you eat pretty much anything except seafood and nuts. One of my milk mom friends used to refer to breastfeeding as "nursing gymnastics". You fit that description these days, although thankfully not at every occasion!

This month we went to Houston for Great Grandpa Milton's 96th birthday. I have family photos coming in a later post, but here are a few pictures of your special time there. You spent lots of time playing in Grandpa's costume and display shop. You especially liked the fruit and vegetable stand.

We went on the train in Herman park with your cousins Ryan and Julia and your Aunts Cindy and Julie and Uncles Jason and Michael.

There were also several celebratory meals for your great grandpa.

Cousin Julia adopted you, and you enjoyed playing with her.Grandma Barbara and Grandpa Ed were there too. You were so happy that they decorated the restaurant with balloons. You held a balloon string all night.

We also celebrated cousin Louis and his wife Meredith who will be having a baby next month. Of course Great Grandpa Milton and the rest of the crew were there. We were also joined by cousins Bella and Davin with their parents Karen and Mike. Aunt Janet and Uncle Mickey were there too.

The weather became much more consistently warm this month, so you've been at the pool and in the parks a lot. Between trips to Italy and Houston, all kinds of outdoor activities, and your own growth spurts, this has been another busy and fun month!

I love you Soph!

Mom

A Site to Behold

I walk in to the kitchen and find Mia sprawled out on the floor. Her arms are stretched wide. They are tinted blue from where she recently painted them completely blue. Her face is the same shade. She's wailing. Her legs are twisted with each foot sticking out in a different direction. She intermittently pops her thumb in her mouth.

She looks at me for a second when I approach. Regains composure. Looks down at the figure she makes on the floor and says: "mom, my legs look just like an airplane."

Then she pops up and gets in a chair to eat lunch. And so it goes.

Houston - June 2011

To celebrate my grandpa Milton's 96th birthday, the whole clan congregated in Houston, Texas once again. These family reunions have been going on as long as I can remember. They started when my great grandma Ganny turned 80. We began meeting in San Antonio to honor her. She lived to be a centenarian! When she died, we began meeting in Houston to celebrate grandpa Milton.

We were all so lucky that grandpa was feeling good, and we had several fun days together. The routine follows a similar flow each year, and the kids love it. We spend time at my grandpa and uncle Mickey's costume and display store, Southern Importers, where grandpa still goes to work several mornings each week. We eat at Kenny and Ziggy's awesome deli. We go ice skating and trampoline jumping in the Galleria. We go to Herman park to ride the train. Sometimes we visit the Children's Museum or go swimming. There are dinners in grandpa's favorite restaurants to celebrate and be together. We often go to the cemetery where my grandma Ann is buried. This year we also had a baby shower for cousin Louis and his wife Meredith. No matter what we do, we all want to see grandpa as much as possible, and the cousins want to be together as much as possible.

This year, my mom (Grandma Barbara) put together a kids table each night which was a huge hit. Davin and Sophie weren't quite ready for the kids table this year. Here are Zoe and Julia.
Bella and Mia.
Bella, Julia, Ryan, Mia, and Zoe.
Ryan and Zoe.Zoe and Mia spent a lot of time running around the table and hugging everyone. Here Zoe is hugging her great-grandpa.Me and Grandpa.At Grandpa's "official" birthday event. My cousin Dee Dee put together a beautiful photo memory book based on all of our input. We took turns reading our sections. It was very funny and very sweet. Here's grandma Barbara showing great-grandpa the book while reading her contribution.Me reading my section.Grandma Barbara showing great-grandpa the pictures.This year everybody jumped on the big trampoline.

Zoe
MiaMeDadAfter so much time with grandparents and cousins, it can be hard to say goodbye. Zoe and Mia were very comforting to each other and continued the games in the airport on the way home.

Another Kind of Midwife

When the hospice nurse came over to brief us today, I felt like we were having a conversation I'd had before but I couldn't quite place it.

We spent most of our time talking about the sign posts to expect. Emotionally, what might Moris experience. Physically, what might we notice. We walked through what we were assured was a very typical process that had some variations from person to person. We talked about how there are times when he might seem unexplainably anxious. There may be other times where his breathing picks up. We were encouraged that these were predictable milestones. The nurse shared what the support persons can do at each milestone. We were coached on how to recognize them and what to do next.

We also had to confirm supplies which included things like chux pads and oxygen. There was discussion about what if any medications would be offered and under what circumstances.

We talked about whether he could eat or drink and if there were any limitations.

We talked about under what, if any, circumstances we may have to transfer to a hospital setting.

Then it clicked. I said, "Your like another kind of midwife. Your helping us guide a life out of this world gracefully." With that, I learned that the nurse and another caregiver other than me had both had their babies outside of hospitals. It was a cool feeling we all shared for a minute. Moris laughed.

And then we all got back to the business of learning about death.

Rose

Zoe and Mia each drew pictures. Zoe brought hers to Moris two days ago. Mia delivered hers yesterday. Moris told her he thought the colors were "far out" and he really liked how she swirled the paint around. Mia beemed. They teased about her age and chatted for two minutes before we left.

Later at bedtime, when we talked about our "roses, buds, and thorns" of the day, Mia said her rose was bringing Moris the picture.

When I was sitting with Moris later that night, he told me her visit was his rose too.

Life Cycle

One of my biggest surprises about being at this life stage is how often I take perspective of the big picture life questions: how we're all connected, mortality, community, the flow of giving and receiving among people and our planet. I don't know if this perspective-taking is related to parenting or life stage.

Right now, my house is teaming with life. It's brimming over. Zoe and Mia are in their last week of school and likely their last week at this particular school. Sophie is trying to talk and walk and bang on anything as loudly as she can. Like every other family I know, we're saddled with end of year activities and obligations. There is dirty laundry, wet pool clothes, syrup on the dishes in the sink. Life.

Next door, our dear neighbor has decided to stop dialysis. This means that he'll likely die in about 8 days. Moris is the most graceful, authentic, optimistic man I know. He's the man we would find up on an 8-foot ladder leaning over our roof trimming our trees at the crack of dawn. And, he is ready to go. He's the first to say "I've had a groovy ride. It's my time."

So every day, I shuttle back and forth. I drop off school pictures and materials for Zoe and Mia's end of year events. I go to Moris' to help him fix something to eat, talk about his life, handle daily tasks of living. I run out to buy party supplies and baking ingredients for upcoming school and neighborhood events. I have a call with each of Moris' siblings to help arrange final hospice arrangements and make plans. Zoe draws pictures for her teachers at school. She draws pictures for Moris. She knows he's not well. Scott makes pasta for the end of year school presentation and he makes pudding for Moris. Yo-yo.

It's like our two homes sit at opposite ends of the rainbow of time. When I get tearful at night reflecting on my day, I'm not entirely sure if it's happiness about what's happening in our home or sadness about what's happening next door. It's a monsoon.