Is there such a thing as too potty trained?

Mia, you did it! You are in underwear and happily use the toilet. At first, you weren't sure about public restrooms and using the little Elmo seat cover to help you fit better on them, but now you have no concerns. In fact, you ask to go to the restroom quite often. And, you are accurate too - very few false alarms. Good job!

Some of these requests come during the night. In fact, several of them do. Again, no false alarms, but 2-3 trips to the bathroom each night, usually with some challenge getting back to bed at two of them. After the 10:30/11 pm trip, you often go easily back to bed. After the 2:30/3 and the 4:45/5 trips, you have a tougher time getting back to sleep - as do we all.

What we've tried? Primarily using diapers/pull-ups at night instead of underwear and also restricting fluid intake before bed. Have these worked? Complete failure.

You now know that pee and poo go in the toilet, so you have no interest in using a diaper or pull-up (although we still put you in them at night for a few more days at least). I have no clue how come the fluid restriction hasn't lessened the urge to use the bathroom during the night.

Could you go on your own? Yes, if you could manage your pants and getting up and down safely by yourself, which you can't yet. Before, you were trying to do these things independently which wasn't very safe. Now, we shut all the doors upstairs except ours so you are funneled in to our room to get us to help you out. (Before we would hear you playing in the sink or trying to lift the toilet seat while you waited for us to find you.)

So, now we are in trouser training mode. Learning to manage your pants and getting up and down off the toilet will be our salvation I hope!

10 Good Things About Chloe

When Chloe died, I assumed Zoe may ask some questions that I wouldn't be 100% prepared for, so I checked a few books out from the library to help explain things. One of the three books we read talked about how a little boy made up a list of the 10 things he liked and would miss about the pet in his family who had died. Zoe wanted to read these books several times over the past few days, and then yesterday she announced that they were too sad and she wanted to return them to the library. They went back to the library this morning.

Tonight at bed time, Zoe asked if we could make a list for Chloe's ceremony when we have one. We colored a picture, taped one of her handmade Valentine's with her name on it, and then wrote our list on the paper. Here's what we wrote:

Zoe began: "We have to start with 'Chloe died.' Let's write that down so she understands what she did."

1. Good cuddler and snuggled in the nooks of my arms and legs (mom)

2. Favorite friend (Zoe)

3. Loving and gentle (mom)

4. So tiny and I loved her (Zoe)

5. Faithful and loyal (mom)

6. I loved her so much (Zoe)

7. Sweet wet kisses (mom)

8. I loved her and she lived at our house (Zoe)

9. Constant companion (mom)

10. She loved to give me kisses and daddy let me pet her and I loved to pet her (Zoe)

At the end, Zoe said that I needed to write down "We love you Chloe!", so she would know that too.

We do.

Learning

Tonight, Zoe swam the entire length of the pool on her back without anyone holding her up. She also enjoyed a piece of fish. It seems her tastes for seafood are broadening because she is also still in to clams.

Mia continues to improve in the big bed and potty training departments. She is so enthusiastic about using the bathroom that anytime anyone goes to the bathroom, you can hear her hollering "Good job!". People in adjacent stalls in public facilities must find this either charming or alarming when she cheers them on.

Focus

I have had an intense (read "not great") 8 weeks. Not worth recapturing. So tonight, instead, I will capture some of the things that I'm very grateful for in no order whatsoever...

1. The armoire that I have wanted to sell for two years is sold and gone. Thank you sweet couple from Burke, VA.
2. The new black out shades in the girls' room rock, and Zoe and Mia are napping together. Thank you dad and Mickey.
3. I have a loving and kind husband. Thank you Scott. You are a wonderful man.
4. I was able to hold Chloe in my arms while she peacefully met her end. Thank you for waiting for me Chloe.
5. I have friends who really care about me. Thank you.
6. I have almost finished completely redoing two closets. Thank you Elfa.
7. Mia is in a big bed and doing awesome at potty training, and Zoe is eager to read and write and loving it. (It's the "loving it" part that I'm grateful for.) Thank you both.
8. Relatively speaking, my family is healthy. Not sure who to thank here; we've all had some issues so perhaps this is a thank you to the universe, and please let's keep working on this one?
9. Someone gave us the idea of painting snow with water bottles and my girls love it (not to mention that my front yard looks like it was peed on my 1000 dogs with different color urine). Thank you North Arlington Moms listserve.
10. The lady at the library who was so kind to me when I was picking out kid books about loss and couldn't keep my composure. Thank you librarian.
11. I've almost completely gathered all my home birthing supplies and my birthplan is finally taking shape. Thanks to me for being patient and plodding along to get this stuff done.
12. I really enjoy my work right now. My clients and the work are really engaging. Thank you clients for retaining me and working together to find value and purpose.

Lots to be grateful for. I'll have to check in on this list next time a shoe drops.

Sad Post

This is the saddest post I've written. Tonight, I had to say good-bye to my first baby. I can't believe it. I'm just crushed. I love you Chloe and will miss you very, very much.

Love,

Mom

It's All in a Look

I wish I had a picture to go with this post.

Tonight, we were out at a store that had a few vending machines against the wall. As we walked by this area, out of the blue, one of the vending machines started spitting out change. Zoe's eyes bugged out, and she looked to Scott and I imploringly.

I shrugged my shoulders, and she cautiously picked up a quarter. She then realized that another pair of adult women nearby were hurriedly picking up all the remaining change. When they stood up, I wish I could have captured the look on Zoe's face that greeted them (not to mention the outstretched hands).

The women immediately handed Zoe the change.

After some discussion with the other women, an effort to give them the change back, and consideration of how to return the money, Zoe walked off with an extra $1.25.

When I asked her what she wanted to do with the money, she said that she wanted to use it to buy the new baby a birthday present.

Blizzard 2010

That's kind of a dramatic title for the snowstorm, but we did get a heck of a lot of snow. We measured 28" in our backyard. Here are some pictures to capture the weekend.

Our poor Magnolia tree in the backyard had a rough go. We were pretty vigilant about shaking off some branches that were burdened by the weight of the snow, but we hadn't worried about the Magnolia tree because it was so sturdy. It had some major damage.If you can't tell, that's a car under there.Our backyard table with half the snow cleared. Pretty deep.Miserable Chloe. She seriously hates this with a passion. I don't think we can shovel a patch big enough to make it up to her.Fortunately a neighbor down the block does excavation work and happened to have a bull dozer. He came down our street like Superman and helped move snow. Some sledding the first night before the bulk of the snow fell the next day. I guess this is not great to do when you're 35 weeks pregnant? Hard to resist though. We were having fun going in and out of the snow banks.

Both girls seriously love to eat snow. We have long talks about which snow is edible and for how long after a snowstorm they can eat it. You'll notice that even while making a snow angel below, Zoe still has her mouth open eating snow.Helping to dig out the cars...

A few impromptu play dates...We were so lucky to score a sled before they sold out. We got the last one in the hardware store we visited.

After lots of play outside, we settled for some indoor activities. I completely goofed with one. I thought it would be great to make homemade biscuits. Solid food was a good idea after we'd already made a lentil vegetable soup, matzo ball soup, and bouillabaisse. I'd found a recipe that looked simple and the girls helped bake. When Scott pulled them out of the oven, he told me he was sorry to report that they spread out and looked flat and hard. I looked back at the recipe and realized it was from Australia. Guess what they call cookies in Australia, duh, biscuits. So we made oatmeal and honey cookies/biscuits. Later, painting.

Cabin fever eventually sets in...